‘What if I hate life beyond academia?’ When the move doesn’t go to plan.

I’ve never been much of a fan of romantic comedies. I mean, even before spending 8 years as a humanities student analysing and deconstructing narrative tropes and gender stereotypes (!), I never bought the way that so many of them end with the wedding, as if to say ‘ok, job done, it’s official now… story’s over.’

There’s a similarity here with a lot of career stories we see these days, especially on LinkedIn. We see celebratory posts about people securing jobs beyond academia, but… just as so many romcoms end at the wedding, many of these stories end at the job offer, and we don’t get to hear what happens for these people longer term and how their lived experiences unfold once they’re out of academia.In the job hunt though, the ‘what ifs’ can weigh heavy on your mind. What if you move into a different sector… and hate it? What if you accept what on paper sounded like a great opportunity, only to find yourself just as burnt out as you were before? If these anxieties are haunting your job hunt, then you aren’t alone. But is there anything you can do to assuage them? To try to answer this, in this post we’re going to meet Tabujong*, and hear about how things transpired for him after he landed what seemed like his dream role beyond academia.

A ‘success story’…?

On the outside, people saw Tabujong as a ‘success story.’ During his PhD he knew he wanted to transition from academia to industry, specifically into the field of evidence-informed policy. Before graduating from his PhD, he was offered a Policy Adviser role for a global charity, working to hold polluters accountable for the harm they cause. This was absolutely where I wanted to be, Tabujong explains, it tied in neatly with my academic work and past industry experience.

It was during the interview process, however, that Tabujong started to sense that this would be a big job. At interview, he says, I sensed that if I took this job, I would be working on a campaign that was at a crossroads, in need of direction that would guide its work both short and longer term. What I didn’t realise at the time, however, was that I was being sold as the guy who would come in with the magic silver bullet to solve this lingering problem. 

Pressure to perform

Although it felt like a big responsibility, Tabujong was excited to start the next stage of his career. As researchers, we often have an innate drive to dive into complex problems; however, as Tabujong explains, his eagerness to get stuck in and prove himself was a double-edged sword. He describes starting his new role:

I just jumped on the opportunity. Off I went in an unfamiliar environment, trying to engage with a remote team spread across multiple geographies, with marked language and cultural differences, to chart a policy direction for a campaign I had not really taken time to fully understand.

It turned out that the campaign had experienced high staff turnover, and team members had conflicting views about what the campaign should be doing. I soon realised that rather than trying to hit the ground running, I really needed to take time to first understand the team and the working culture, as this would be crucial in gaining the trust needed to put forward my ideas and for them to be valued. Unfortunately, there was little time for this as there was significant pressure from management on me and my team to produce results.

Tabujong’s experience here struck me as one of the big differences that I’d also experienced when first adapting to working life beyond academia. A PhD often allows time to find your feet a little bit – reading and thinking come first, results come later. But in the recruitment department I joined post-PhD, the focus quickly fell on meeting targets and achieving return on investment.

From self-confidence to self-doubt

For Tabujong, however, being a PhD holder further added to the pressure. I was trying to figure out what I needed to do whilst also managing expectations from colleagues who, at times, questioned my capabilities and outrightly said ‘hey, you have a PhD, you should have all the answers’ rather than seeing our work as a collaborative effort. This sent me into a spiral of self-doubt and impostor syndrome.

A complex campaign, difficult office politics, high expectations… Tabujong found himself in the eye of a perfect storm that would have been difficult to predict when he first accepted the role. I encouraged him not to blame himself for failing to foresee how this job would pan out. However, he went on to outline what he hadn’t considered before accepting the job offer.

Before starting the job, I also hadn’t considered how to balance my job commitments (local travel to work twice a week, plus international travel) with family responsibilities, meaning that I soon found myself struggling in all directions. My relationships with my family and friends became strained as I hardly had time for them. Consequently, 18 months later, I resigned from the job that I had initially been so enthused about.

Having initially joined the organisation full of confidence, I left it doubting my own abilities, which was difficult to bear.

In my conversation with Tabujong, he repeatedly returned to these feelings of self-doubt. He had an inkling at the interview stage that this might be a tough job… should he have acted on this? Should he have turned it down? But when an apparently attractive and high-impact job opportunity lands in your lap, how much are you really expected to question it…?!

Despite the impact on his confidence, Tabujong insisted on using his experience to help others. So, if he had known then what he knew now, what would he have changed? he explains:

Immediately after my PhD, I won a postdoc grant to apply my research to the real world. Before rounding off my grant and graduating, I had job offers from the charity I went to work for and had also had interviews with other prestigious organisations including the World Bank and Amnesty International. Everything seemed to be going to plan, but… because the job offer from the charity was the first that I received, and given that it was technically closer to home (where my kids were in school), I just quickly jumped at the opportunity. Looking back, I now realise how I could have done things differently.

So, if fear of ending up in a situation like Tabujong’s is playing on your mind and impacting your job hunt, what can you do? Short of finding a crystal ball hidden way in your attic, there’s no easy answer. But… here are a few takeaways from our conversation that might help you to put yourself in the best position:

1. Towards the end of your PhD or postdoc, be honest with yourself and take stock of where you are mentally and personally. For me, moving straight from PhD and Postdoc to a job was not the best idea, Tabujong admits. I hadn’t recovered from the pressures of academia, yet I jumped straight into a senior job that was equally pressured. I underestimated the power of rest and thought I could just carry on despite being burnt out, and with other parts of my life struggling as a result. On reflection, I should have taken time to wind down from academia and be fully prepared for my transition to the policy and practice world. Reflecting on your mental state and how other things are going in your life might help you to work out – is jumping straight into a demanding job right for you? Or, would ‘phasing’ your career move (e.g. by first taking a non-management role, or a ‘transition’ role that lets you keep half a foot in your comfort zone) give you a steadier learning curve and help to ease your transition?

   
   

2. Be wary of jumping on your first job offer without exploring what you’re getting into. Tabujong explains that taking the time to understand the history and culture of the work environment, and using this to make an informed decision about whether it was the right environment for me, would have been valuable. Do your homework… this environment and the people within it will be determinants for your success on the job. Seeking advice from those who have been there before you to get an understanding of how to navigate your job hunt could help you better prepare for your transition. I’d add that asking questions in your interview like ‘how will my performance be measured – what are the key indicators?’ or ‘if there was one top thing you’d want the post-holder to achieve in the first six months, what would it be?’ can also help you suss out whether the role is going to be manageable and what expectations might be placed on you.

   
   

3. Don’t ignore red flags. Tabujong had been eager to prove himself and passed his probation in the first three months of his new job. However, he admits, this perhaps meant that I tried to pass over aspects of the working environment that could ultimately impact my mental well-being, including how colleagues treated me and responded to my work.

   
   

4. Understand the processes and support available in your new organisation that you can call upon if you do encounter political challenges with colleagues – or even more seriously, workplace bullying. Acting on the initial signals I had from colleagues, Tabujong reflects, and seeking help (for example, following appropriate channels for whistleblowing and complaints within the organisation) could have helped me to feel more supported and protected, which could have led to a different outcome than feeling like I had to resign. Resigning from a job is a significant decision, and for me this decision added to my self-doubt and impostor syndrome.

   
   

Finally, if you’re already in your first role and finding it tough, questions like ‘why didn’t I act on my gut instinct in the interview?’ or ‘why didn’t I think more before making my decision?’ may torment you, just as they did (and on the bad days still do) for Tabujong. But remember, this isn’t all on you. No matter how much research you do before starting a job, factors like company restructures, changes of management, and other unforeseen circumstances can turn the most promising opportunity into a quagmire. Do what you need to do – take time out, talk to someone, seek therapy or other support – to heal and rebuild your confidence before putting yourself out there on the job market again.

This story was originally published on PostGradual: The PhD Careers Blog. Tabujong’s name has been changed to protect his identity.